Watcher
by screwtape's.love
Summary: Eren has a sister, and she's not gonna hold with this crap. OC.
1. Chapter 1

"Are you gonna join the Scout Regiment, too, Elvan?" asked Eren excitedly, yanking on his older sister's coat as they hurried around town.

"Eren, I'm not eligible for _any _branch of the military right now," Elvan replied. "And I won't be for a couple of years. You have to be twelve, after all."

"But _will _you?" asked the boy cheerfully. "They're awesome! They go out and fight Titans -"

"And then come back with dozens of people missing," Elvan answered. She shook her head at her brother's silly dreaming. "Why would I want to join the military, anyways? It is possible for me to be useful at home. What would you do if I wasn't here to sew up the holes in the knees of your pants?"

Perhaps if she hadn't said it so seriously, it would have been funny.

This, of course, was not enough to persuade the boy to stop. "Mom will do it," he explained, apparently having thought about this before. "If you join the Scout Regiment, you can be a hero!"

Elvan answered with silence. It wasn't an argument she could win. Her six-year-old brother was incredibly vocal about his passion for the Scout Regiment, which had developed almost the instant he was able to understand what the walls were. Maybe he was right and the Scout Regiment were heroes, and sure, it was pretty cool that they got to leave the walls. But Elvan didn't really have the motivation to join _any _military branch and doubted it would ever happen. Her mother would probably agree. "You know mother doesn't really like the idea of either of us joining the Scout Regiment."

"What?" her little brother said. "Why? They're -"

"Awesome, I get it," Elvan sighed. Her footsteps became faster and her brother's still slightly chubby fingers grabbed the tip of her loose braid to slow her down. "But I've already told you a lot of them die. Mom doesn't want that to happen to us."

It was as if her brother didn't even need to think before he had an answer. Was he really _that _worshipful of them? "But you're awesome too! You won't die! And neither will I when I join."

"I'm not joining, Eren," Elvan told him, shaking his head.

"But that's stupid!" Eren said angrily, trying to yank at her braid but finding himself unable when she caught his wrist. "You'll change your mind."

He sounded so certain, but Elvan would not believe him until several years later.

* * *

**Watcher, I: Breach**

* * *

"We're home."

"What took you two so long?" Elvan asked, turning to Eren and Mikasa as they entered the house.

"Elvan!" scolded their mother as she turned from the countertop. "Welcome back."

"What? It's been ages," Elvan protested as she pumped water into their cooking pot, muscles flexing as she worked. "Oh! You must have gotten caught in the traffic when the Scout Regiment came back. How were they, by the way?"

Eren, of course, did not answer. Their very subtle, private argument had gone on like this for years, and though Eren was stubborn, he could hardly say that the Scouts were invulnerable. She was right; a lot of them had died and plenty were injured. "The death toll was very high this time," said Misaka in his place. "There was some drama."

Carla tsked in disapproval. "It's really a shame. Maybe someday the cost of their bids for freedom won't be so high, but I wish they wouldn't go out so often with the limitations they have."

"I'll take over for you, Elvan," Mikasa muttered politely, taking the older girl's place at the pump. Elvan had little problem with it; Mikasa didn't get so frustrated at the dull task as she did, and she had some mending to do anyways.

"Wow, Eren," said Carla proudly, "You actually worked hard!"

"Yeah," Eren agreed, almost absently.

"No you didn't," Elvan cut in. "You probably let Mikasa do it as usual. If she gets her way you'll be fat, like those merchant p - men from Sina."

"Elvan!" cried Carla, but Grisha's slight laughter could be heard from the table.

"But it's true," Elvan protested, though she was really more focused on trying to make her immaculate stitches as invisible as possible. "Hey, Dad, when you go to the interior will you bring back some chocolates?"

"Dad's leaving?" Eren asked, unaffected by the change of topic. "Is it for work?"

"Yeah, he's been packing all day," Elvan confirmed.

"Yes. Some check-ups in the interior," Grisha told them as Carla began to place food on the table. "It'll take a couple of days."

Eren hummed in dissatisfaction and Elvan rolled her eyes. "I wouldn't worry too much, Eren. You'll always have Mikasa to keep you company."

"Yes," the raven-haired girl agreed.

"Elvan, would you _please _come to the table this time?" Carla requested as she carried more food over.

"You aren't going to eat with them, and I'm busy," the young brunette answered, tucking a long lock of hair behind her ear. Her foot tapped rapidly against the floor, her fingers drumming against the arms of her chair as she paused her sewing.

"Elvan," Grisha said warningly, "just do what your mother says."

"Dad will be leaving soon," Eren agreed. "Don't you want to be here?"

"Not particularly," she answered.

"Elvan!" Carla scolded, which had become a very common occurrence in the small household.

"Fine," she muttered, setting down her sewing to join the group at the small, rectangular table. She took a roll of bread and nibbled at it slowly, feeling the burn of eyes on her forehead as she stared obstinately at the wood grain of the table.

"Did you have another fight?" Eren asked. "I don't get why you never try to get along with Dad!"

"Eren, please don't bother your sister," Grisha intervened.

Eren frowned and began to eat away at the soup in front him. The table was unusually silent for any of their meals. Usually there was conversation and laughter, but it apparently wasn't supposed to happen today. Elvan was stupid, with her livestock-ish personality and her fighting with their dad all the time. Eren wasn't sure what it was that had changed his sister from the hero he'd looked up to when he was little and stupid, but it was despicable. Whatever it was that had made her special, she'd lost it. Or maybe she'd been boring all along and he'd just taken a long while to notice.

Elvan had turned twelve _ages _ago, after all - she could have enlisted any time, if she had any backbone. But she was content to sit in their kitchen, _sewing, _surrounded by these stupid walls, pretending that it was okay that all of humanity was practically caged by the Titans. Eren swore he'd never be like her - not for a minute. Two years - that was all he needed to wait. Maybe when Elvan saw how great he would become, she'd follow in his footsteps.

He snorted. It was ridiculous, an older sister needing leadership. And from a younger sibling, no less.

Grisha had finished his dinner and was carefully placing piles of paper and the like in a briefcase. "As I've said, I'll be back in a matter of days. Be kind to your mother."

And then, suddenly, Mikasa spoke. "Eren says he wants to join the Scout Regiment."

Carla gasped, her attention changing from her work at the countertop to Eren himself. "M-Mikasa!" he cried. "I told you not to say anything!"

"Eren!" His mother circled around to the table and by his side, kneeling and grabbing his shoulders to keep his attention. "What are you thinking?" She leaned closer to his face, looking almost angry. Eren frowned - even Elvan hadn't even gotten close to this sort of concern. And why would Mikasa even mention that? How could she? It was his dream, and it seemed as if everyone was ready to stop him from following it. "Don't you know how many people have died outside of the walls?"

He knew, he did. His sister had told him many times, even when they were little. "_A lot of people left their families and will never come back, Eren. You know I can't leave you." _But he wouldn't die! And if he did, so what? He'd die doing something far more important than washing dishes. "Y-Yeah, I know!"

"Then -!"

"Eren," Grisha interrupted calmly, his smooth voice almost immediately diffusing the tension. "Why do you want to go out there?" He didn't look disappointed or discouraging, much to Eren's relief. Just… questioning. Maybe he'd be able to talk some sense into the others.

"I want to know what the outside world is like!" he replied. It was something he'd thought about for so long. What could humans do if they had great, salty lakes and almost unlimited resources? They'd be so strong! "I don't want to live my entire life in ignorance inside the walls!"

Across the table from Grisha, Elvan's lips thinned out. Probably she'd taken it as a personal attack. Fine, then. "_That's _ignorant. You won't be exploring for fun outside of the walls. You'll be fighting for your life the whole time, and the chances are you'll lose, just like all of the people that were missing from their ranks when they came back into the walls today."

"But if no one will take their place," argued Eren, blindingly mad, "then their sacrifices were for nothing!"

"I see," Grisha said, cutting off the girl's reply. "My boat's about to leave. I must be going."

"Hold on, dear," protested Carla. "Talk some sense into Eren!"

Grisha put on his hat as he stepped through the door. "Words can't hold back human curiosity. Eren…" He stared, wide-eyed, at his father. Not discouraging him at all - wow. He hadn't expected that. And what now? "When I get back, I'll show you the basement that I've kept secret all this time."

Eren's face flushed in excitement and he heard a sharp exhale behind him. _Elvan. She must be jealous. Maybe if she was brave Dad would show her too. _"Really?" he asked as Grisha held the key in the light and then flipped it back into his hand and out of sight. His father smiled, and then he was gone. "Take care!" he called from the porch, waving at Grisha's receding back.

"Just forget it," his mother said, looking devastated that Grisha hadn't put Eren's dreams to rest immediately. "Joining the Scout Regiment is a stupid idea!"

"Huh? Stupid?!" he exclaimed, waving his hands in a frenzied passion. "People who don't mind living like livestock are the stupid ones if you ask me!"

"Don't talk to Mom that way!" yelled Elvan.

"Then why do you act like you hate Dad all the time, you brainless cow?"

"The difference is that Mom hasn't done anything wrong!" Elvan screamed back. Her face was red, her teeth practically bared in anger.

"Elvan, please! Don't speak of your father like that," Carla said, a few tears falling down her cheeks now.

"I _will _talk about him that way," she replied sharply and stomped off.

Eren, too, ran. He wanted to be as far away from these stupid jerks as he could. How dare they challenge everything he believed and thought of? He was right, he knew it!

His feet pounded hard against the cobblestone as he ran aimlessly. Soon, he heard Mikasa's footsteps behind him: a sign of her almost unwavering loyalty.

But not loyalty to him.

Loyalty to his mindless sheep of a mother. His mother who wanted to die without freedom and happiness. How could anyone possibly want that? Elvan wanted it, too, but even she hadn't told his secret. Stupid MIkasa.

He'd join the Scout Regiment no matter what. He promised himself.

There was only one person he could go to for total agreement: Armin. His best friend had all the sense in the world: the common sense to know that they were still vulnerable behind the feeble chunks of rock that cut them off from the outside. But when he found Armin, what he saw enraged him. More of those stupid sheep circled around the smaller boy, beating away at them because of his wisdom. "Hey, stop that!" he said, running to them and their taunts, so angry what with all of the past hour that he could have downed them all with a single punch. They turned a ran in an instant, and Eren came to a halt beside his friend. "One look at me and they ran off!" he crowed, collecting himself.

"No, it was Mikasa they saw," Armin corrected, but Eren ignored him.

"Hey, you okay, Armin?" he asked, offering a hand.

"I-I can get up on my own," Armin answered, though he looked hurt.

"Okay," Eren agreed uncertainly. "I wish they'd leave you alone. They're obviously morons."

"Their insults mean nothing to me," Armin said with a nod. "They're just proving how wrong they are. They don't know how to defend their position because there's nothing for it. They know I'm right."

Mikasa was rarely one to speak on her own prompting, so she had both of their attentions when she said, "Perhaps it's right to explore outside the walls, but _you _don't have to do it, Eren." Her words were followed by a brief moment of silence. Somehow, everything Mikasa ever said seemed to be worth pondering.

And it was, too. Eren knew it didn't _have _to be him, but he also knew - "But I will do it," Eren said stubbornly. "Can you imagine all the things we could achieve outside of the walls? Everything we could see? Remember when we talked about oceans, Mikasa? We could _see _that! We could _live _at an ocean if we wanted."

"Why do you need to live at the ocean to be happy?" Mikasa asked.

"It isn't just the ocean, it's everything! The world doesn't belong to a bunch of stupid Titans, it belongs to _us,_" Eren stated, "but we have to fight for it. So that's what I'm going to do."

"You'll break your mother's heart," Mikasa told him.

The thought was unsettling, but Eren pushed it aside. "She'll always have Elvan to lie around in this cage with her."

"That's really rude, Eren," Armin said. His friend had always tried to defend Eren's family, probably out of kindness, but Eren never had any of it. He was only saying what was true: that his mother and sister were fine living within the walls, and his father wasn't outspoken on the issue at all.

"Don't insult your family like that," Mikasa said. "Please."

Eren frowned, but excluded the Yeagers from the remainder of the conversation.

* * *

"So what did you do to upset them, anyways?"

They sat, now, by a stream, Mikasa and Armin on the stairs and Eren perched on the bricks beside them. He stared out at the reflection of the sun on the water. Was that what the ocean would look like? Surely it would be even more incredible.

"I said," Armin began, glancing at Eren, "humanity needs to venture into the outside world at some point… and then they beat me up and called me a heretic."

"Damn…" Eren swore, throwing a rock into the water in front of them. It hit the surface with a satisfying splash and then sank. Eren was still angry. At Mikasa, at his family, and now at the whole world. "Why does everyone look down on people just for wanting to go outside?"

Armin sighed. "Well, because we've had a hundred years of peace by staying inside the walls. They're worried that going outside carelessly will invite them inside the walls. The royal government's policies have made having _any _interest in the outside world a taboo."

"It's our lives!" Eren snapped. "We can risk 'em if we want!"

He'd said that before, or something similar, at least. To Elvan. She, of course, had disagreed, saying something like, "_You say that, but you don't want to risk your life. You want everyone to take the risk or else they're useless or stupid. So you want everyone to work together to achieve _your _goals? That's some kinda narcissism. And that's selfish, anyways. People will care if you die. I'll care. You shouldn't throw yourself away like that." _At the time, Eren hadn't understood half of what she'd said, but now it angered him further each time he thought of it.

"Absolutely not," Mikasa contradicted. "Forget about it."

"Which reminds me," Eren hissed, "I can't believe you told my parents!"

Armin gasped. "I never agreed to help," Mikasa replied cooly. "You're lucky Elvan kept your secret all this time."

"So, what did they say?" Armin asked.

"They're…" Eren paused. What had they been? His mother had been mad, but his father? He'd said almost nothing. "... less than pleased."

"It figures. Indeed, I think people are crazy if they think we'll be safe inside these walls forever," Armin responded, hugging his knees and glancing up at Eren from his spot on the stairs. "Just because the walls haven't fallen for a hundred years doesn't guarantee that they won't fall today. And yet..." Armin's musing was cut short by an earsplitting crackle of lightning. The sky was clear, but a yellow bolt hung in the air behind Wall Maria, sending out a force so great that the children were knocked from their spots. "W-what was that? An explosion?"

The sound of talking drew their eyes to the main street. Armin, who was always very inquisitive, hurried in the direction of the masses, and Eren followed. It took him a few seconds to catch up, and by the time he got there, Armin was staring up at the wall along with many other. "What is it? What do you see?!" Eren cried.

But Armin didn't need to answer. Eren turned his own eyes to the wall and gasped in utter shock. I huge set of fingers, fleshy and skinless, gripped the top of the wall. They were so large that he could see the ropey muscle on each digit even with the distance. It was shiny and reflected the sunlight, but not because of blood. Behind it, steam or smoke rose into the air in a massive cloud. The hand clenched, and there was a loud crunching as the stone gave way under its fingers. "It can't be!" Armin gasped. "Th-that wall is fifty meters high!"

But it was. Their eyes were not deceiving them and Eren knew he couldn't have dreamed something like this up. Clearly the Titan behind this was massive. Would it use huge fists to knock down the wall? Were they all about to die? "It's one of _them…_ a Titan!"

Its huge face was also obscenely muscular. Two bands of fat ran across its cheek, giving it the impression of a permanent frown in spite of the continuation of its toothy mouth to the joint of its jawline. It stared impassively at the crowds of people below. Its head alone cast a massive, dark shadow over them all.

Seconds passed.

It was silent. Everyone seemed to have stopped talking. There was no movement, only tension.

Then, panic.

A massive wind blew through the entire town. Rubble was flying everywhere and the force was terribly strong; it must have destroyed everything close. Eren was blown off of his feet and rendered unable to see through the great cloud of dust that clung to the air. They were far enough away that it cleared quickly, but their troubles were not over.

_I talked about something like this happening, but I… _"I-it opened a hole in the wall…" Armin stuttered.

"They're going to get in," Eren choked out. And, as if he had cued it, there came screaming from the area near the gate. _People are dying. I was right but people are dying. How can we possibly survive this? We're doomed! _

"We need to run too!" Armin said meekly as screaming crowds sprinted past them. But Eren now had something that was, to him, far more terrifying. "Eren!"

"My house is in that direction," he breathed. He was right, but it didn't feel right. It was surreal. His house was in _that direction. _His mother and sister were there. They could be dead and he'd been screaming at them only hours before. He'd insulted them. He'd been fighting Elvan for years and hiding his desires from his mother. They might be dead, _they might be dead. _He began to run. "Mom!..."

He ran. He shoved into people. He shot past a mother trying to pull someone with long, thin legs out from under a huge chunk of stone. Stone from the wall that people worshiped and placed their faith in. What if his mom was trapped under a rock? What if his sister had been eaten alive by a great, fat Titan?

_It couldn't have hit our home! They'll be running! They'll be okay! Just around the corner… our house is standing there, like always! _HE felt less than encouraged by his desperate thoughts. He turned the corner and, if anything, ran faster. "Mom!" he screamed at the pile of broken support of shattered wood that had, once upon a time, been his home. He'd only been there hours ago. This... couldn't be. "MOM!"

"Eren," his mother said, her jaw clenched as if she was in unbearable pain. And Eren tried to avoid the thought, but she probably was, buried underneath all the weight of their house. But she must have been just walking around the door because she was peeking out, and she was still alive.

"Mikasa! Grab that end!" he said urgently as he made a grab for their roof, and felt the weight in his own arms decrease immediately. "We gotta move this pillar!" He grunted with the effort of the impossibility, putting all of his decade-old might into it. He could do this. He needed to save his mom. His family. And he needed to forgive and receive forgiveness and then never argue again -

He lost his train of thought when he heard the footsteps and saw something like the busts of incredibly large men over some very close rooftops. "Hurry, Mikasa!"

"I know!" she answered.

"The Titans have gotten inside, haven't they?" his mother asked, her voice calm but betraying an alarming note of panic. "Eren! Where's your sister?"

"But I thought she -" No, he hadn't thought anything. His mom had been his first concern, but that was because she was here now. So she wasn't crushed in the rubble, but somewhere else. Where was she? Safe? In a Titan's belly? Trapped under a stone like the long legged man?

At his completely lack of an answer, his mother gave a meek cry. He watched the tears on her face glisten in the muted light. "Eren! Take Mikasa and run away!"

"I want to!" he shouted, feeling pure terror pump through his veins. The pillar lifted. "So hurry and get out of there!"

"The debris has crushed my legs…" Carla murmured. "Even if I could get out, I wouldn't be able to run. You understand what that means. Find your sister and l -"

"MOM! NO!" A torturously loud, strangled scream echoed off the houses around them. His sister's cool, pleasant voice had cracked, as if she was losing it. Before Eren even had a chance to turn, the pillar had lifted. "Get her out. GET HER OUT!"

"Elvan," he heard his mother say weakly, though her voices sounded relieved as she swallowed away her sobs. "Leave…"

"NO! EREN, DO WHAT I SAID! DO IT! _GET HER OUT!_" His sister, in her frenzied face, was terrifying. Her neat exterior was flushed and disheveled. She was horribly sweaty - from running here? He knew she was out of shape, but - "STOP GAWKING AND _DO IT, _EREN! WHERE'S ALL THAT FUCKING HEROISM NOW! DO IT!"

Somehow, hearing his sister - who was not always calm but had never sworn aloud to his knowledge, who rarely said anything outwardly rude - swear and scream, was enough to convince him. He let go of his side of the pillar and yanked on his mother's arms. Carla screamed a terrible scream as she slid, and Eren could hear fabric and flesh tearing. But he couldn't stop. "Why don't you ever listen to your mother?" she cried in spite of the pain.

"You can live without legs! We'll carry you!" Eren answered as Mikasa helped him slide Carla out of the rubble.

"You could just do this one thing! MIKASA!" the woman protested as Elvan dropped the pillar and began to single-handedly drag her mother.

"SHUT UP!" Eren's sister cried, pulling with all her might to move the woman. She was slow, and Eren reached over to help. Mikasa was crying, he could hear it, and somehow the whole situation was twice as terrifying. One huge Titan was getting closer, and Eren tried not to look at it. _Save Mom. Save Mom. SAVE MOM._

"If you don't go, all four of us will…" The metal-on-metal sound of 3D gear did not stop Elvan's relentless tugging. "Hannes!" Carla cried. "Take the children and get out of here!" The man hurried over, the wires retracting back into his gear as he stood by Carla and the struggling children. They were moving faster now, but not fast enough. That Titan's booming footsteps were close now.

"Don't go underestimatin' me, Carla," Hannes said with a nervous grin. "I'm gonna slaughter these Titans and save all four of ya!"

"DO IT!" Elvan cried, unable to lower her voice in her panic and adrenaline. "HE'LL DO IT, MOM! HE'LL SAVE US! I WON'T LEAVE YOU!"

"Wait, don't fight them!" Carla screamed. "Elven, please! Do you want all of us to die? You and your brother and Mikasa have a chance! GO!"

All movement ceased for an instant, and then Elvan resumed her endless screaming. Eren wondered if she was frightened or just agonized. He hadn't the time to look at her face, but he couldn't decide. "Mom's right. MOM'S RIGHT!" she said suddenly, though she didn't stop pulling Carla's limp form. "We can't all die. EREN! MIKASA! You - YOU HAVE TO LIVE! I'LL TAKE MOM! HANNES WILL KILL THAT TITAN AND I'LL CATCH UP TO YOU!"

"Elvan, I can't! I have to help you!" Eren refused, horrified at the suggestion.

"MIKASA, PLEASE!" Elvan begged. "MIKASA! Eren saved you. NOW SAVE HIM!"

"I-I -" the younger girl stuttered.

"No, Elvan, go with them, plea -"

Elvan interrupted her mother as if her pleas meant nothing. "MIKASA! You care about EREN. Not ME! IT'S BEEN TRUE ALL ALONG! I never helped you. That was him. Take care of him! PLEASE, MIKASA! I BEG OF YOU!"

Mikasa hesitated for an instant. But the instant was over quickly. "Mikasa, no!" Eren screamed as he was detached from his mother and sister. "Stop! We can't leave them! WE CAN'T LEAVE THEM!"

But Mikasa seemed to have grown twice as powerful and aggressive as before, because they were suddenly two dozen meters from Carla and the looming Titan with the freakish smile and Hannes and Elvan.

But Hannes wasn't fighting the Titan.

"MIKASA, STOP!" Something in Eren's voice must have forced it. The fear, the energy, the touch of anger. Her grip on his arm was strong, but they were walking slower and she had turned back. So had Hannes - he was running, terrified, from the beast he'd promised to kill. Elvan must have heard the footsteps, must have known what was happening, because suddenly she was running _with Carla in tow, _and he had no clue how she was able to do it. How could someone of no real strength and courage muster the energy to run under their mother's dead weight?

But she wasn't mighty enough. Hannes was upon her, struggling to pull her from the slightly bleeding body of her mother, with her bent, twisted, bruised legs and inability to move for herself. She shouted bloody murder, clawed bare skin, knocked him down, and Eren tried to run and help her - after all they'd gone through to get Carla out the couldn't leave her - but she screamed again. "MIKASA! SAVE HIM! GO!"

"No! Elvan, stop," Eren sobbed as Mikasa struggled to pull him further. The Titan was close enough to cast a shadow over them not. "LET ME HELP YOU! PLEASE!"

"NO! Eren, I'm sorry! I can't let you die with me. GO! GO!" and his sister resumed pulling, but weaker, slower, as if her adrenaline rush was suddenly gone.

In her moment of weakness, Hannes grabbed her. "NO! NO! MOM! LET GO! MY MOTHER - YOU MURDERER! YOU'RE KILLING HER! LET ME GO - MIKASA, STOP GAWKING. LEAVE -"

"Thank you," he saw his mother mouth softly, though the words were too quiet to hear.

"Mikasa, stop! We have to go get Mom, we have to help Elvan -"

"No, Eren!"

"Mom's still -"

"EREN! ELVAN! MIKASA!" he heard his mother calling, though he couldn't see her properly from the angle. But his sister could as she squirmed and twisted in Hannes's hold, and she was screaming, begging, pleading to help her. "YOU HAVE TO SURVIVE!"

Eren saw the Titan, and then he saw a life. Not his life, but his mother's. His beautiful mom, who had loved him. Who had a beautiful smile. Who wanted him to live. Who had fed him. Told him stories as a child. Sang beautiful songs. His mother who he'd yelled at and spent hours hating. His mother who he hadn't apologized to.

And then he saw his _real _mother, lifted into the air by a huge, bony hand and somehow managing to kick her mangled legs in protest. "STOP!" he screamed.

"PUT ME DOWN! MY MOM -YOU MURDERER! LET HER GO! LET HER GO!" Elvan screamed behind then, running her nails across the skin of Hannes's face as he hurried on unaffected. "MOOOOOOOOOOOOOM! MOM!"

And then he couldn't hear his sister's screaming anymore, or his own, though he could feel it in his throat. The Titan's eerie grin caught his eye as it covered Carla with two fists and pulled, stretching her body and breaking her back. She was still alive then, Eren knew, in agony and unable to move, and he was about to watch - he couldn't do anything - he was weak - he should have died with her -

Her weak body rose slowly in that now singular fist, and that Titan's smile seemed to widen as it brought the immobile body to its mouth. It opened - strings of saliva connecting its great teeth - it bit down.

Blood. Blood. _Blood. Blood. BLOOD. _Splashing and bathing the air. Raining down on the pavement. Everywhere. Eren's own vision seemed to go red.

And then, slowly, it faded to black.

* * *

_Lately I've been going ahead and posting a lot of my old projects. This is one of them._

_This chapter is almost hard to read. Perhaps it's because of the amount of screaming. But the episode is hard to watch, too. So maybe it's not just my old writing! Haha._

_I hope you guys enjoyed. See you soon._


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

They stopped at the inner gates.

Mostly it was because Eren had managed to wake up from his two-second long unconsciousness and had resumed his struggles against Mikasa. Eventually, it was bound to happen - he got away and ran towards Hannes and his sister.

Elvan had apparently given up. The long, painful claw marks were testament to her anger, but she now hung as limply in Hannes's arms as Carla had been in her final moments. "Eren -" Hannes began tiredly, depositing Elvan on the ground. She fell in a heap, limp and still in the dust, as Eren attacked the soldier, doing little in comparison to the bruising punches and bleeding scrapes and stinging words Elvan had delivered. "What are you doing?"

"We were so close - Elvan HAD Mom -" Eren enunciated his every word with a punch. They were weak and sloppy, but his heart wasn't in it. Why? Did something within him know that they never could have saved her? Or was he unable to really blame the Garrison soldier? "Why couldn't you mind your own business? We were _so close -_"

"That's enough!" Hannes shouted, and Eren felt himself thrown backwards. He landed hard enough to knock the wind out of him as he gasped for air. Mikasa rushed to his side, offering help and comfort, but he made no move to accept as Hannes lowered himself to eye level. "You couldn't save your mother because you lacked the strength."

Before his small, useless fist was even in motion, his wrist was encased in an unmoving hand. The older man's face was grieved, saddened, and afraid and angry all at once. "And I couldn't stand up to the Titan because I lacked the courage! I'm sorry!" And then they were walking again, and empty shell following closely behind him, haunted blank eyes wearing away at Hannes's skull.

"Elvan," Eren cried suddenly. "Elvan!"

She didn't respond, but he jerked out of the soldier's grip and hurried back to his sister. She was walking dumbly at a constant pace, as if she wasn't quite awake. The yellowed fabric of her dress was dotted with something that must have been blood. Was it their mother's, or someone else's? Eren swallowed and pushed himself into her side and under her arm. She was largely unresponsive, but it still felt a little nostalgic. When was the last time he'd even _thought _of touching his sister? When was the last time he hadn't hated her? Eren couldn't remember it. But now, she may as well have been the only surviving member of his blood family. How was their dad supposed to find them in all this chaos?

They were alone now, him and Elvan and Mikasa. Alone. He didn't even know if Armin had made it. Armin… his best friend and Eren had just left him behind. Should he have made sure Armin was safe, first, before going after his mother? If Armin was dead, that was on him, too…

"Do everything you can to get on board one of these boats. I'll put you at the front of the line," Hannes was saying, and they were pushing through a crowd of people who were desperate to escape. _If we take someone's place_, Eren thought, _that will be my fault, too._ "I'm - I'm so sorry."

They walked onto the boat and Eren felt Elvan move with purpose for the first time. He felt oddly pronounced muscles in her torso and arms shifting as she held him closer and grabbed Mikasa, then turned. And then, she said some awful words, cold and sincere: "You don't talk to me. Murderer."

The last Eren saw of Hannes, he looked positively stricken.

She could hear them arguing about the gate even from the boat, and knew that the people still trapped on the earth were probably terrified. The soldiers were, after all, arguing about whether to close the gate. It could potentially cost them their lives.

_It's happened again._

Perhaps it was true that she'd never felt the same way about Elvan as she had with Eren, but she still felt safer than the cold, ugly silence hanging around them. MIkasa pressed her face into the material of Elvan's shirt and shut her eyes. She didn't want to watch anyone else die. She hadn't watched what had happened to Carla, but her imagination had managed to paint an all too real picture.

_Eren is alive, _she told herself. And now that he knew what Titans were truly like, he might not want to join the Scout Regiment anymore. _He'll be safe. _But even those words were not enough to comfort her and Mikasa stared blankly ahead, watching the sobbing and screaming crowds on the cobblestone.

_He'll be safe._

But it was as if Mikasa was having an awful flashback - she could still hear the terrible crunching of pavement beneath that Titan's feet, and could feel the vibrations from its movement shooting through her feet and legs. The water rippled at the edges of the channel.

The…

The water rippled.

Mikasa could only watch helplessly as she realized that her imagination could not cause the water to ripple or the boat to rock.

Would the Fates truly be so cruel to a single person? Her family? Carla? And now… something else? How could so many terrible things happen to her in just over a year? Was she destined to lose everything?

Mikasa, strong and cold, gripped the yellowing fabric of Eren's older sister's shirt so tightly that her knuckles paled.

Wall Maria exploded. The epicenter? A huge Titan, far beefier and shorter than the other, its musclature covered with something lusterless and stony. It slid forward several meters and then stopped. Mikasa could no longer see many of its features - the light coming behind it rendered the creature's entire front shadowed.

She knew people were screaming but heard only silence. It seemed almost peaceful.

But Mikasa knew that, as little peace as there was now, it would soon be gone. Such a gaping hole would bring monsters, and with them, the death of every civilian who'd been left behind.

_He'll be safe._

_But they won't._

* * *

She never saw the Titans enter the gate, and by the time they did, they were far away.

Elvan's bruising hold on them had softened, but she still seemed to be absent from her body. It was as if she'd lost all ability to speak. She wasn't making any noise at all; she wasn't even crying, like Eren, who was watching a salty tear fall onto his scraped, splintered, bruised hands.

He couldn't seem to stop crying. Mikasa had avoided thinking about it at all but she knew that was all Eren _could _do - think about it.

"Eren," she said, following him as he suddenly rose to look at the world they were retreating from. He was muttering something incomprehensible, and his body seemed still.

"Eren?" Armin asked, touching the boy's shoulder, but Eren jerkily shoved him aside. "... drive them out," Eren said fanatically. "I'll drive them all out - every single one of them from this world!"

"Eren," Armin said softly, looking concerned. "Mikasa, what…"

Mikasa was in no mood to talk about the Titan with the odd, lipless grin. She didn't want to talk about Carla. She didn't even want to think of them anymore. Mikasa was in complete and utter control of her own life, and she would not allow their deaths to affect her. They were apart from her now. Her job still remained - _protect Eren. Do everything for him. Make sure that he lives. Protect Eren. _"Why don't you go talk to Elvan," she 'suggested', taking her place by her angered savior and dismissive Armin with only words.

"Where's -"

"Armin, please," Mikasa said tiredly peering over the horizon as she shut her eyes.

"I'm -" Armin paused. "I'm so sorry."

"But it isn't your fault. It's stupid to apologize for something you couldn't have stopped. Now go."

Her legs ached.

She'd been standing in line for food for hours. Was it really worth it for a piece of bread?

For herself, maybe not. But she had two kids to take care of now, at least until her father somehow found them. But it didn't seem likely at all. Things were absolutely chaotic, with refugees from all around Maria poured into Wall Rose, and the efforts at registering all of them disorganized and slow. At the rate things were going, Grisha wouldn't be able to find record of them and their location for years.

Elvan was alone now. At first, Mikasa had been by her side, but she'd grown worried about Eren and left after about an hour. It wasn't entirely unreasonable since Eren had passed out from the overwhelming stress his body and mind had been put through. Several days had passed since they had all arrived in Wall Rose, but he was still exhausted. His anger had sucked all the energy out of him, and the only thing anyone could do was force-feed him while he was awake. "Okay, next," she heard, and snapped to attention. Finally, something was happening. As she took a step forward, she peered around the person in front of her. Several steps ahead, a Garrison soldier sat at a small wooden table. The person standing in front of it was writing something - they were being registered. Elvan frowned at what that might mean. Would they be required to provide payment she didn't have? What if Eren and Mikasa became forced laborers or something? But she suspected that if she wasn't registered, she'd be turned away when she asked for food.

One loaf of bread per day was their limit. The hunger pains were constant and never-ending, but she didn't have any money to buy more. And soon, the free food they were getting would run out. How were the royals going to cover so sort of a food shortage? Everyone had to eat, after all.

_Blood. Blood. Blood. Mom. Blood. Gone. Dead. Eaten. You failed - her corpse is lying defiled in some Titan puke somewhere -_

_Enough, _Elvan thought with a shake of her head. Was it wrong to grieve? To regret? What if it distracted her from her remaining family? Then, certainly, it was wrong. But how could she make something like that go away? How could she dare to forget her mother, her sacrifice? How could she try to convince herself that Hannes hadn't made himself a murderer when he'd pulled her away from Carla, preventing the woman's salvation? How could she possibly forget the horrible things she had seen on the way to her home from the abandoned storehouses to the west? How could she _not _grieve and regret?

A single tear rolled down her face as she took another step forward.

Her brother would probably go back to hating her very soon, and after that, the only way she'd be able to help him was by providing - with no money, no food, and no job. A complete impossibility. Elvan wasn't exactly touchy and feely, and was used to the lack of love she usually got from her brother, but she still felt the need to make sure he didn't starve or get himself killed. She'd need to find some kind of employment. Winter was fast approaching and even their coats had been lost to the Titans. They needed clothes.

In addition, of course, to food, shelter, and safety from any laws enacted against the refugees.

_Impossible._

But she couldn't allow her mother's sacrifice to be in vain. Eren would live, as would Mikasa. Elvan herself would simply… survive. Somehow, her will to have fun had disappeared, and she had very recently discovered she had no purpose at all. Maybe Eren's dream was foolish, but at least he _had _one.

Another step. Her clothes still had blood on them - _MomMomMomMomMom _\- and she could see the Garrison soldier in charge of keeping the line under control frowning at her. Probably she looked awful - she hadn't exactly bathed lately. In fact, her hair hadn't even been combed. It was disgusting and greasy upon her touching it, and she scowled. She should probably get Eren and MIkasa to bathe, too. There was probably a bath house somewhere.

"Next!" She took on more step forward. A few more minutes and her wait would be over, but while she was up there, she wanted to ask questions. What was the registry for? Did everyone have to be there to be registered? Would being registered affect her or her family negatively? She knew almost no details, and there was no way she would allow the government to cause her any unnecessary troubles. She knew how to get away if she had to run.

Elvan scratched at her arm. Her parents would have been terribly disappointed that she was being so sloppy, but what could she really do about it? She had bigger problems at hand, like her own mental health. It seemed as if, no matter where she looked, even at the back of her eyelids, that _thing _was leering down at her before biting her beautiful, sweet mother clean in half. How was she supposed to live her life like that? She'd not even spoken a word over the past few days. She felt as if she opened her mouth, all she would be able to do was scream or sob.

"Next!" Elvan stepped forward to the table and coughed as the brunette, bored looking soldier pushed a paper over to her, along with a pen. "Fill this out. Include everyone in your family and make sure they know you've already done it when you get back home."

Elvan nodded and picked up the pen, carefully writing her own name and information only as she began to ask questions. "Sir," she began as the line to her left moved forward. Her voice was scratchy and dry from lack of use, and she swallowed, as if it would possibly help. "What is the registry for?"

"Organizational purposes," he answered lazily with a wave of his hand. "It won't get you more food, if that's what you're wondering, but from now on you can't collect rations until you've been registered."

"Okay," she answered, hurriedly scribbling in Eren and Mikasa's names. "Are barracks for refugees being set up? I don't have a place of address at the mo -"

"Ah. Yeah, I have to assign you a place. Ben, gimme that map," the soldier said as her peered at Elvan's paper. "Three of you, eh? I think you're best off - here - lots of other kids there. Write that down, now. When you get to the River House, someone else will record your family's room number." All of them crammed into a single room. Still, at least they could receive mail now.

"Yes, of course," she muttered, writing in 'River House' on the address line. "Thank you." Her throat seemed to be bleeding. As much as she wanted to ask more questions, the pain was intolerable. Overuse and then sudden underuse of her vocal chords was wearing away at them. She handed the man the paper and, in return, received three loaves of bread. They seemed slightly smaller than yesterday's. Her stomach growled in protest at their diminishing food sources.

"Next!" she heard as she walked away.

She'd have to find Mikasa and Eren now so they could find their new 'house', which was more likely a large building with rooms that had been hastily constructed in order to accommodate the masses.

In spite of all the benefits it had just earned them, Elvan felt somewhat uneasy about the registration. Why was it that the effort had suddenly doubled to the point that they were being provided with free housing? They were probably going to provide them with work, but that wasn't a reason to give away valuable space, however shoddily constructed it was. They could have collected workers without giving them a place to live. Most people would have worked for the promise of food alone. The reason they'd been given shelter was probably so they could be better controlled… Eren would hate it.

But he didn't have to know.

It only took a few minutes before she reach the storage building. She'd placed Eren's sleeping body upstairs before, but now, he was outdoors with Mikasa and Armin. He was silently crying, tears falling to the bread he was eating, and Mikasa was carefully eying him, as if she was worried he'd act out. "Oh," exclaimed Armin. "Eren, your sister's here, and she has more food."

Elvan swallowed, and held out the loaves of bread. Eren and Mikasa shook their heads, and Elvan took one for herself, selfishly relieved. She had to eat, too, after all, and it had been clear that Armin was terribly hungry from the instant she'd walked up. If they both wanted some, too, she'd have nothing. Without a word, she pressed the remaining loaves into Armin's hold and fell back against the wall, chewing slowly to savor the tiny roll. "I've gotten us a place to live," she announced, skating around the fact that it had been given to them. We have to go there right after we finish eating."

"My grandfather found us a place, too," Armin said, cheered by the thought. As clever as he was, he probably hadn't yet realized the reasons behind the provided shelter. Of course he'd be happy about protection from the upcoming winter. "Are you in the Walls Foundation sponsored shelter?"

Elvan shook her head and he looked disappointed, and cheered up again when she croaked, "River House."

"What luck! They're only a few blocks apart!" Armin said. "Grandfather says we'll have to earn our keep, but it's good that there are jobs for us at all."

"Jobs?" Eren said interestedly.

"We'll be planting things," Armin said, sounding less cheerful about that for obvious reasons.

"It's nearly winter," pointed out Mikasa dully. "We can't succeed."

"Well… at least we'll have shelter now, and we'll be contributing to society. There isn't really enough food for all the refugees here," Armin reminded him.

"No, there's not," Elvan agreed. "We'll have to work hard - Eren, Mikasa."

She stood, beckoning, and the two children hesitantly followed. "I'll see you all tomorrow!" Armin called hopefully as they walked away.

"Elvan," Eren said meekly, "is Dad looking for us?"

Elvan paused. How was she supposed to know? Grisha told her almost nothing. It was part of why they didn't get along. "I hope so, Eren," she answered honestly. _If only because his skill as a doctor could earn us money and then food._

* * *

Elvan coughed, but the desk manager didn't seem to be paying much attention.

"HEY!" Eren shouted. Evidently, he had become tired of waiting. The dark haired woman looked up and nodded expectantly. "Eren and Elvan Yeager and Mikasa Ackerman."

"Okay, okaaaaaaaay," the woman said, leafing through some papers. "Here you are. Okay, take a right and head to room six. It's labeled, you can't miss it."

But they almost did miss it. As Elvan as predicted, it had probably been built without any planning at all. The boards the made up the walls weren't even pressed together in some places, so you could see in and out of the room by looking through the cracks. She felt distinctly uncomfortable about having Eren or Mikasa change in there, but there was little to be done for it. They didn't have any clothes to change into, anyways. Other than that, it was equipped with three thin blankets and rectangular sacks that were probably intended to be bedrolls. Elvan shrugged; it was better than nothing. "Settle in," she said with a half hearted gesture, though they had nothing to set down and no furniture.

Still, no one complained. Maybe it was obvious that Elvan wouldn't put up with it, even if the room _was _less than eight square meters total. They sat down in complete silence, enjoying the partial privacy of the little room.

Elvan was the first to recline on one of the pathetic little mats.


End file.
